Triple Dare
by Jonquil Gemstone
Summary: As original as fanfiction can get, but too fanfictioney to be completely "original". A secret agent eagerly rallies his new partners...only to realize he's found a journalist and a surgeon instead! With his contacts missing, they'll just have to do. Main characters inspired by Jacksepticeye, Pewdiepie, and Markiplier. Watch their fictional dopplegangers save the world! Paranoid T.
1. Job Well Done

**I know I have other stories out, but I felt like this one was too good of an idea for me to bottle up. I don't do fanfictions on real people, but these characters were inspired by Jack, Mark, and Felix too closely for me to call this original content. So, here you go, FanFiction world! For you!**

Felix Hatchet Vonlanden sat in his office one Tuesday morning. His fingers dashed over the keyboard splayed out before him, and his pale blue eyes darted across the screens covering his line of sight. The deadline for his news article was within the hour, but he had yet to submit a word! His problem was not laziness, but over-productiveness. Vonlanden saw over half a dozen events within the past week with the intention of reviewing one. After tossing some ideas around, he finally resolved to write articles for all of them and let the editor decide which was best. Honestly, who could choose between the football game versus the baseball tournament, or the ballet versus the theatre performance? Felix was a soul who appreciated all forms of talent, and he reveled in the extreme diversity of performance. Finally completing his task, Felix sent them all to his editor and threw himself back in his favorite wheelie chair.

 _That ought to do it!_ The journalist congratulated himself on a job well done. _Right in the nick of time, too._

Doctor Mark Smith Jameson grabbed the forceps from the tray next to him. His dark brown eyes were trained on the patient as he maneuvered the scalpel with an expert hand. Sweat beaded his brow as he reached the most difficult parts of the surgery.

"Doctor," the nurse said timidly.

"Be quiet" the doctor muttered, timing his movements with every breath.

"But, Doctor, the vitals…" she persisted.

"Shut up, nurse!" he exclaimed, "I know what I'm doing!" Deftly, he stitched up the patient just before it was too late.

How Ms. Valdera got a PVC pipe in her ribcage was still beyond him, but thankfully he got it out without serious damage to the patient. Looking at the miniature saw he used for the operation, he considered keeping one in his usual repertoire. Those extra minutes retrieving it could have meant life or death for the patient. Jameson removed his gloves and mask. Checking his watch, he noticed it was nearly lunchtime.

 _That ought to do it!_ The surgeon congratulated himself on a job well done. _Right in the nick of time, too._

Sean Jeffrey Taylor strode urgently through the airport. Sunglasses hid his eyes as he swaggered up to the woman at a desk. Giving his name as Jack Henry Nichols, he boarded the assigned flight and kicked back in his seat. Reviewing the necessary objectives, Taylor wondered what his contacts would say about his plans. They were a little crazy, he admitted, but then again, it was a crazy mission to begin with. First, he had to pick one of them up and bring him to the third.

Once his flight landed, "Mr. Nichols" resolved to make a good first impression on his new teammates. Noticing a head of sand-colored hair, he recognized his first contact. For some reason, the contact entered a taxi cab and left. How to follow him? "Jack" took in his surroundings and saw a pair of youths—a boy and a girl—preparing to enter another taxi of their own, struggling to pick up their abnormal amount of luggage. The door was wide open.

 _That ought to do it!_ The secret agent congratulated himself on a job well done. _Right in the nick of time, too._

 **Obviously, I'm not a slave owner, so I do not own Pewdiepie, Markiplier, or Jacksepticeye.**

 **I wonder if they might read this someday? Who knows...Oh, dear, I hope they like it :/.**


	2. Flight 51

Felix Vonlanden was on his way home after visiting the love of his life, Marzia Robertini. Inside the taxi, he pulled out his smartphone and checked the weather. A storm was apparently approaching from the north, so he decided to stop near his favorite mall and stock up on a lantern and batteries, in case the power went out. As soon as the driver pulled over, Felix exited the vehicle and moved towards Plaza Marx when he noticed another man shooting out of a taxi which evidently followed him there. Alarmed at the redhead marching towards him, Felix tensed and wondered if he ought to run from him.

"Top o' the morning to you, partner!" the stranger spoke with a thick Irish accent. "Are you ready for this?"

"Um…" Felix stared back at him, confused, "ready for what, exactly?"

"I'll explain later" the stranger said. "First, we need to find our third team member!"

Before he really understood what was happening, Felix found himself shoved inside another taxi and headed back to the airport with a delusional maniac.

"So," he tried to start a sane conversation, hoping to distract his kidnapper, "what brings you to Sweden?"

"The lovely weather, of course!" the stranger said. "You're acting like you don't remember me, you goof. Don't you remember your old buddy _Jack Nichols_?" he nudged Felix with his elbow, as if he needed to catch on to something he said.

"Um…no, I'm sorry. Ow!" Felix received a harder elbow to the ribs. "What was that for?"

"For forgetting me. Now, we'll just—stop here, please" the taxi driver pulled over, and the two men got out. "We'll just catch the next flight to America and be on our way!"

"America?!"

"I know you're excited, but we'd better leave before that storm hits. We wouldn't want to get stuck here, now would we?"

"Actually, yes, I would. Now will you tell me what the heck is going on here?" Felix demanded.

"Sorry, can't do that yet, buddy! Y'never know who might be listening." Jack Nichols, as he introduced himself, semi-dragged Felix to the American-bound jet about to depart. Only after they sat down did Felix think to call out for help. Jack kindly 'let' Felix take the window, positioning himself in the aisle seat next to him. "Isn't this nice?" Jack breathed in the fresh scent of the airplane and spoke as if on a casual trip with an old friend. "Just me and you, off to the old U.S. of A…"

 _Now's my chance,_ Felix began sneaking his hand into his pocket while Jack chattered on, _while he's distracted, I can call—_

"Hey, what's that?" Jack held a sharp tone when he noticed what the blonde was up to. "What the heck is that? You know we're not supposed to use our phones, dang it! Now hand it over."

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 **Yes. I censor the smallest of words.**

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 **Don't judge me…**

 **I own neither Pewdiepie nor Jacksepticeye. If I did, that would be both morally wrong and downright creepy. The same goes for Marzia.**


	3. Burger Joint

Dr. Jameson had a number of other odd surgeries, starting with Ms. Valdera the day before.

 _What a weird day,_ was all he could think on the drive home late that evening. He was very tired. _I just wanna go home, eat a hamburger, and go to sleep. Oh, wait,_ he realized, _I don't have any food home yet._ "Why?" he whined into thin air. "Why didn't I go grocery shopping yet?" At the light where he should have turned left to go home, he turned right to go to the nearest burger joint. Thankfully, the most popular place in the state was conveniently nearby. Mark ordered his food and waited for what seemed like an eternity. A pair of gentlemen nearby caught his attention.

One of them had red hair, the other was blonde, and for some reason they both wore dark sunglasses. They looked so cool! Scanning around, Mark found the three of them were the only customers. Well, the redhead was whispering behind a menu, and the blonde guy seemed a bit nervous… _I probably shouldn't just waltz over there and talk to them,_ Mark thought.

"That man right there, buddy," Agent Taylor whispered to his newly-assigned Swedish partner behind a surprisingly varied menu, "looks like our third and final partner." His new teammate hadn't said a word all day. The strong, silent type—Sean could respect that. Still… "Say, what's your name, by the way? You haven't told me this entire time."

 **It astounds me to have to say this, but I do not own Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, or Pewdiepie. Do you have any idea what their net worth is? I do NOT have that kind of money! That, and owning people is illegal, so…**

 **I accidentally uploaded a chapter from another story: _The Adventures of R.E.S: A Trip Through Reality"._ I am so sorry about that! Still, if you liked it...feel free to check it out...**


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